


Like Candles, We Fade

by NotFlyingWithOtters



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Mild Smut, slight spoilers for DoFP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-02-03 01:45:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1726607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotFlyingWithOtters/pseuds/NotFlyingWithOtters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Charles puts his hand on the other man, it's in desperation, waterlogged and freezing as he pulls the metal bender away from his concentration. </p><p>"You'll die." He says, and it takes a while for him to realise that Erik really doesn't care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Candles, We Fade

**Author's Note:**

> "Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow." William Shakespeare, Macbeth.   
> In which the candle is a euphamism for the love and the relationship between Erik and Charles.   
> Canon compliant (mostly)

The first time Charles puts his hand on the other man, it's in desperation, waterlogged and freezing as he pulls the metal bender away from his concentration.   
  
"You'll die." He says, and it takes a while for him to realise that Erik really doesn't care. He knows that he has a gentle soul hidden beneath that hard exterior; he knows that Erik isn't what he thinks the Nazi’s made him.   
  
"I was a lab rat. I know one when I see one." Charles aches to hear that, because it's so true and it means that so many other mutants were too; but that this one standing in front of him was a survivor. Linked to Cerebro there is so much he doesn't know about the people he finds, just vague flashes of it all. His hand tightens on the bar and his face screws up slightly - but through it all he feels Erik's hand rest so lightly on his own he's sure he imagined it.  
  
They touch a lot more on the hunt for the mutants, being in close quarters often calls for that. When they find Angel, Charles rests his head on Erik's shoulder and thinks that maybe for a moment _this could work_.

* * *

And then it goes to shit.   
  
He and Erik don't touch for a while, and Charles finds himself craving it, but everything has changed now. He's back in a house he hates, full of memories that make his eyes water, and he doesn't respond when Erik asks him.  
  
"I wonder how you survived living in such hardship Charles." It feels like a jibe, good god did he know he had it so much easier than the Auschwitz survivor in front of him, but it doesn't assuage his guilt. He lets Raven answer for him, and simply leads them inside.  
  
Erik apologises of course, over a chess game in Charles' room. It's not a formal stiff apology, just a soft murmur of _"I didn't mean it."_  
  
"I know." Charles touches his wrist for a moment, touches the tattoo. "I know, my friend."

* * *

The next time they touch, it's when Erik is crying, a solitary tear rolling down his cheek.  
  
"I didn't know I still had that." Charles is shaken too, and he almost doesn't register the speech. He smiles, gestures, and Erik's hand finds his own. It's a tight grip, tight and warm and a shade above painful, but he lets him. The disk turns towards them and he lets out a shout of joy, ready to pull Erik in and kiss him because they've been putting this off for far _too long._  
  
But as always, they are interrupted, and the moment shatters like the fragile glass it was made from, and they go inside.  
  
It's later when the kids are asleep that he and Erik find themselves alone again. The telepath is tired, and it seems only logical to curl up beside the metal manipulator on the sofa, knees tucked up as he rests his head on his shoulder.   
  
"You flatter me by your presence Charles." It’s faintly sarcastic, but Charles chooses to ignore that as Erik cards gentle fingers through the telepath, _his_ telepath's hair.   
  
"Don't pretend you don't enjoy it." Comes the murmured reply, and Erik lets out a laugh that sounds just like a huff of breath as he strokes Charles' hair gently with his hands.   
  
Neither of them initiate it, it just happens. One moment Charles is looking up at his friend as Erik looks down, the next the telepath is straddling the other man, lips a hairs breadth apart. But they don't kiss yet, even those hands resting on his hips and driving him mad won't drive Charles to kiss him; and the elder is just staring at him, drinking it in.  
  
"This stays between us." He whispers at last, shifting beneath Charles' weight. Charles nods, and a hand slides around the back of his neck as Erik pulls him in for a kiss. It's making love this time, clumsy and shy as the fire burns down in the grate. Erik lays Charles out on the rug and appreciates him from every angle, running his rough fingers over his skin as gently as he would caress any lover. Charles blushes, embarrassed of his pale body, his skinny waist... But for Erik it's a turn on.   
  
When the older mutant slides into him, the pot of Vaseline on the table serving as a lubricant, the telepath sees sparks. His fingers rise to his temple, to project onto his partner just how good this is. Erik meets this approval with a groan and moves, Charles opening up for him a future he wasn't sure he had. Nails drag down Erik's spine as he rocks his hips, his arm cradling Charles against his chest as he shifts position to take the sting off his partner’s shoulders and hips, one strong hand splayed protectively over his back. It's new and it's exciting and when it's over they collapse onto the rug, sweaty and flushed, not quite able to meet each other's eyes.  
  
They clean up and it's not the last time that night they find solace in each other, their bodies intertwine and in the morning it's Erik who teases Charles into wakefulness by opening him up with his tongue and fucking him into the mattress.

* * *

The other mutants say nothing. Whether they know and are respectful, or are completely in the dark, their silence is as good as a blessing.  
  
The night before Cuba, it's not love, it's fucking. Whatever happens in the morning will change the world, and it's like their last night on earth. The metal bender manipulates the bed to hold Charles' wrists as he fucks into him, leaving dark bruises across his chest and thighs before he allows him any release. The young mutant cries his name with a hoarse voice, and clings to his partner until the dawn.  
  
When he loses his legs, he knows it's Erik but he can't blame him. He always knew he could deflect the bullet; it was his fault for getting in the way. It's like bile in his mouth when he tells him to leave, because what he wants to tell him is to stay and love him like he did. But it's not in his nature to be that selfish.  
  
"Go." And Erik does, because Charles is too weak to raise a hand to his temple to tell him to stay, to project just how much he needs him.

* * *

He erases Moira's memory after he kisses her. It's a lie, all of it. He's lost so much that he can't keep going, and he reaches out to Erik on the nights alone when his back hurts so badly he ends up throwing up and all Hank can do is watch on wearily, helping him back to bed when he deems it appropriate.

  
The serum makes that emptiness go away, it gives him his legs. But there's a scar on his back and a scar in his heart that he knows is never going to heal.

 


End file.
